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Stop “Should-ing”

Stop “Should-ing”

by Debra Mae White on December 3, 2011

One month into my shoulder surgery recovery, my daughter told me to stop “should-ing” on myself. Somehow this new slang snuck into the vernacular of generation X. The phrase is clearly a play on a common cuss but I looked deeper and noticed the word “should” and the world “shoulder” are not far apart.

Could it be that when I tell myself I “should” do something, I pile it on my shoulder? Was my shoulder injury a message that I piled on too much?

One thing I know is certain; the values of the next generation speak loudly to drawing boundaries and taking good care of themselves. A lesson I clearly need to learn.

The holidays are supposed to be a time of celebration. But Christmastime seems to be the season of “shoulds” for me.

Here is a sample of my “should list” for December:

I should accept every party invitation, even if there are 3 on the same night
I should bake home made Christmas cookies
I should decorate the house with every ornament I own
I should wrap all the gifts single handed
I should invite so and so to dinner…

Maybe it’s time to trim my “should list” along with the tree. Which activities help me rejoice? Which feel more like responsibilities? Will I be bustling about or bearing a burden? Am I having fun or becoming forlorn?

Applying honesty and discernment, I can draw the distinction between mere obligation and that which supports me. Perhaps these questions will lead me to the truth of myself, the nature of my being.

This Christmas, I vow to stop the “should-ing”. My shoulder will heal and my heart will sing during these days of good cheer.

Isn’t that the way Christmas was meant to be?

Savor the moment….

Debra Mae

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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Susan Strickland December 4, 2011 at 8:41 am

Amen, Debra!


Devoni Wardlow December 5, 2011 at 10:58 pm

I can totally relate to this, after days of “should-ing” – sewing a stocking, cleaning and decorating to prepare for a Sunday afternoon holiday party, and marathon shopping today. My “shoulds” are almost done, then I plan to relax and enjoy the season, too, on a cruise next week. :))


Debra Mae White December 6, 2011 at 12:01 am

Enjoy your cruise Devoni. You deserve every moment of rest and relaxation you can get!


Amy Isaman December 15, 2011 at 8:21 am

I love how you tied in “should-ing” with your shoulder injury. I think so often our physical ailments are tied to our emotional state and if we could heal that, we would be much healthier. I hope you are healing well!


Debra Mae White December 15, 2011 at 9:14 am

Thanks Amy! I am feeling better every day.


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